I didn’t know what I wanted, I just followed my heart. My heart was weakened from years of trampling; I thought I was stronger, just to learn I was not. They say you learn from your experiences, I am smart but wise I was never. I never do learn. I am so bad at expressing my true feelings. I hide my pain behind my rage, the tension… the anger it builds until I am no longer myself. I isolate into myself and become so very lonely. The things I love become so shallow and incomprehensible. I drive home in a daze listening to music I can hardly hear. I speak to others in disdain and annoyance because every little tick and twitch makes me want to scream. I try to talk to others, my attempts fail because I grin and giggle and hide the pain so deep down inside of me. The rat race continues and I am more confused than ever.